Day 05 – Your definition of love

Is holding me while I cry and telling me that you hear my tears.
The look on my babe's face when I come back to her.
How I feel about dumplings, about good white wine, and about food in general.
Is being accepted and welcomed for who I am and being looked up to for it, not in spite of it.
Always knowing that you're there to reach out to if I need you.
The warm completeness I have when I'm with friends and family.
Knowing that I have both, and am both.

Day 04 – Your music

I love music! I need music for company during the day when I'm home alone, and love the digital TV's ABC Classic FM station. I like a mix of music though. Some of my favourites at the moment would be:

• Elena Kats-Chernin, composer of Wild Swans and other pieces
• Katie Herzig
• Anything from the 1990s
• Anything with a decent backbeat or bass line
• Most of what I've sung of the choral variety
• Dixie Chicks

Which is funny, as I don't like listening to choral music and especially detest organ music where there's a bit of organ, and a bit of choir, and a bit more organ.

I've been singing in AICSA choirs since 1997 on and off. I've sung in choirs in Canberra, Adelaide and Sydney as well as attending annual festivals of the choirs from around the whole country in Sydney, Canberra, Melbourne a couple of times, Adelaide and Hobart. I am a first soprano but also have sung alto a couple of times. I don't tend to sing solos or small groups due to some really traumatic experiences - I have a good ensemble voice.

It's that time of the year again...

Now that Beltane is over, I can think about the end of the year. Solstice, Christmas, Giftmas, Hanukkah, Yule is on its way! So how will you celebrate this year? What do you celebrate? And how will you survive emotionally, financially, logistically and happily?

We don't celebrate Christmas per se. We will celebrate the Solstice on 21/12 (it's a partial lunar eclipse this year!!!!) with dinner and presents, and Christmas Day is whatever rolls. If DH's family organises something and invites us then joy, we'll go. But I refuse to (a) organise (b) host (c) poke people to get organised, seeing as we don't really "do" it, and if it's left too late we will just do our traditional slow-cooker turkey roll, roast veges or bbq'd, alcohol and a Colin Firth movie festival at home on the day. We have an open house at some stage as well for all orphans or escapees from the insanity that is/can be Christmas Day.

We are handmaking most of our gifts this year. Here is a great list of gifts to make for toddlers and babies. I have bought Sally some play silks and shhhhh I have already thought about what to get TheHusband and YAY for the exchange rate! cause it means I can get him what I want to. We sat down in October and put down 5 things we wanted each, in case we needed inspiration. And wrote a list for Sally of things we would be happy for her to get - wooden blocks, books, that kind of thing.

NaNoBloMo Day 02 - Your first love

His name was Eward and he and his sister Jane were in my class. He smelled nice and was kind. He had lovely eyelashes and before I knew it we were trading our sandwiches - my plum jam for his strawberry.

We were 7 or 8? and I remember it being different to how I felt about my family or friends. I think there may have been kiss-chasey involved at some point too.

NaNoBloMo Day 01 - Introduce Myself

Hi! My name is Emma and I am 30. I am a complex, complicated soul who has had several lives already, which when I tell you about something like my previous jobs you'll question whether I'm just 30 or a pathological liar.

I am one of 5 children. I am a wife, and mama to one beautiful baby girl. I am a hearth witch in development, an avid cook, the proud owner of my sanity and working on squishing my Inner Good Girl and being true to myself and authentic. That means that I'm working on not pleasing people but being true to myself.

I don't have a good imagination. If you've met me in person you'd probably doubt this as I'm a creative crafty type. I've previously cut all my hair off and dyed in pink and purple - I'm planning a few chunks of colour in the near future. I'm all kinds of strange but mostly my "strange" is because I don't comply with what you think I should.

I may or may not shave my legs. I'm kind of lacking in the hair growing arena - even after 6 months my leg hair is only 1cm ish long, which is kind of sad. I have dry skin post-pregnancy so shaved them so I could moisturise properly. But I'm slack about shaving them so the hair will grow as it wants.

My hair grows fast. I have more than my fair share of it. I don't suffer from hayfever, I birthed my babe at home, I don't have a sweet tooth and do not like chocolate. I am a hopeless romantic and struggle to reconcile my intense independence and feminist ways with accepting that I am the heart of my household and if I don't lead then it ain't going to happen.

I am sensitive and observant and intuitive. I have a level of prescience that fluctuates and annoys me mostly because I don't take it seriosuly and often only in hindsight am aware of what I knew. I am insanely smart and skipped a few years at school. I do not like flying insects. I love to sing, I can't read music very well despite 14 years of singing in choirs and more than that prior to learn the flute. I have a crazy memory for things like the Prime Ministers of Australia (learned in year 7) and songs and music that I've not seen for years.

I have a very womanly body, even more so after carrying and feeding a child. I have wide feet and strangely crumpled little toes. I have chronic injuries from an accident 3 and a bit years ago, but have decided that enough is enough and I need to move on from that. I am sensitive to my hormones so pregnancy, postpartum, breastfeeding and so on has been a drag. I'm 5'6" tall, not especially fit but have a penchant for skirts and a preppy look. I hate jeans shopping with a passion, buy shoes occassionally and am not very hard on my possessions so still have awesome shoes that are 5-6 years old.


I left home at 16, have lived in a lot of cities, hail from Sydney but now live in Adelaide, and my favourite season in Autumn.

If I had to sum myself up right now, I'd say I'm a mama who practices gentle/attachment parenting, cloth nappying, breastfeeding, co-sleeping and loving her babe to piece, a student midwife, an aspirational herbal/aromatherapy healer, a budding photographer, a lover of tea, a great cook, avid writer and sometimes knitter. Pleased to meet you!

Thirty days has September, April, June and November

So I'm doing NaNoBloMo again this year. For 30 days I'll blog every day. Just as a prewarning, here's what I'll talk about. Yeah I have a plan, stolen from someone else so I guess that makes it a meme. Sue me.

Day 01 - Introduce yourself
Day 02 – Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – Your music
Day 05 – Your definition of love
Day 06 – Your hobbies
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A precious item
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – An inspiration
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 12 – What’s in your bag
Day 13 – Your mode of transportation
Day 14 – Where you live
Day 15 – Something you love about yourself
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favourite memory
Day 18 – Your favourite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret
Day 20 – Your morning routine
Day 21 – Your job and/or schooling
Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – Your sleeping habits
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favourite place
Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your favourite foods/drinks
Day 30 – Your aspirations

Off I go!

And... done

Things that I'm done with:

• cleaning my own house for a while - I have a cleaner coming on Monday. I'm sad that I am doing this but the reality is that in just a few days, I'll have the use of just one arm and be recovering from surgery. Manfriend works fulltime and is completing a thesis and has a right to a life that doesn't involve working 5-6 days a week and spending the other 2 days slaving at home. I am a student and that is part of my "job" in our relationship - part of the year I study, part of the year I'm on placement, and part of the year I'm just working a few days a week and keeping house the rest. It is my fulltime job to balance these things, and I don't do all the housework by any stretch of the imagination, but with one dud shoulder for the past 3 months (well, 18 months but only diagnosed for the past 3), the housework just hasn't gotten done much. Hence I am getting a cleaner. In theory, Allianz will pay for it for a few weeks post-surgery as it a direct consequence of the accident that I am getting someone in to do this... but I'll see.
  
• studying. I've finished for the year! Two exams done! I get to shred things and file things away! Woohoo!!!! I am now halfway through my degree. Next year I'll do one 3rd year subject in 1st semester, and a 1st year and a 2nd year subject in 2nd semester, and then two 3rd year subjects in 2010. Got that? I'm confused just writing it. It means I won't do any practicum/placement until late next year but I can deal with that.
  
• blogging every day. Because NaBloPoMo is over. And I did it! Or so I say. I happen to like blogging and I have a lot more to say here. And I have a lot of time over the next 9 months to write stuff out. Not that many people are listening ;). I'm not going to do it through December as I have surgery in a few days, and I don't think I'll be up for it!
  

"Recognizing the central importance of listening and showing sincere compassion is the midwife's job. It can be challenging to be truly present all the time, but it is a quest we must all challenge ourselves to meet if we are drawn."

— Illysa Foster, CPM

A study to determine whether breech presentation at term is more common among women with at least one prior cesarean delivery showed a rate two times that for women who had had vaginal births. The study records of 84,688 women showed the relative risk of a breech presentation at term for women with a history of cesarean was 2.18, with no difference related to the number of cesareans. While a total of 2.46% of all women in the study had breech babies at term, 14.91% of those who had had a cesarean had a breech. The researchers took into account other factors, including gestational age, maternal age, parity, birth weight and oligohydramnios.

— Am J Obstet Gynecol, 13 Feb 2008 (10.1016/j.ajog.2007.11.009)

Have I told you lately how much I miss midwifery? I don't miss a lot of the minutea and crap that comes with it, but I do miss the women, and the births, and the antenatals care, and the breastfeeding help and the growing bellies. I need to make a board to remind me of this through the next looonnnggg period. You know - I could have a baby between now and when I go back to uni and births. That's a little sad and confronting. And so not on the cards.

from: Cambridge Midwives

Photo challenge

This weekend I have a lot of time to myself and while I want to finish knitting a project before I have my shoulder operation, I came up with a challenge to take some photos - feel free to steal and copy!

1. A self portrait
2. Where you live
   
3. Your favourite thing
4. A seasonal / nature shot
   
5. The place you spend most of your time
   
6. Something that sums up a dream / wish / goal / desire you have for the future
7. Happiness for you is...
   
8. Something you see on a walk / bike ride / picnic / drive / other activity you do this month
9. People you see but don't know
   
10. A typical meal or food experience for you
    

One down, one to go!

I sat one exam this morning and wrote wrote wrote for 2 solid hours. It was hard work - can't remember the last time I did that! I think I did quite well though so a good solid C here I come for that subject.

Now I want to sleep but instead I need to:

• call my lawyer regarding a letter I sent him 2 weeks ago
• fill in the form for surgery
  
• reset rent payment for Friday
  
• sort out a cleaner (I have quotes - just need to analyse and arrange)
  
• hang cork boards on side of shelving unit
  

But for now - a brief nap I think!

Treasure map

Millionaire Mommy Next Door has written some interesting and inspiring stuff recently. I'm not saying that she has all the answers, or that I want to be like her, or that I want to be a millionaire even, but her post on how to increase your financial bliss came out of her ealier post how to create a treasure map for a rich life and got me thinking.

I am heading towards the big 3-0 and more serious stuff (heck, I just made tea and cake for morning tea with my sometime-to-be-husband Manfriend, and it made me think of my dad's routine!) and if I had $1m in the bank at the moment, the interest alone would keep me in good stead. I could go and do indy midwifery for a reasonable income but also at an accessible rate for those who need it, I could sleep til I woke up, and I could do what I wanted to do because I wanted to do it, rather than feeling like I Have To Do It.

MMND's suggestions for making a treasure map for your rich life (and she doesn't just mean money-rich - it's whatever makes you happy!) is like making an ideas board for a designer, or a planning board for a large event - it's not hard but it is challenging.

1. Grab something to stick it on to (cardboard, thin plywood), as well as scissors, glue and sticky tape, pens and textas etc.
2. Grab any magazines you have handy for this kind of project and flip through them, cutting out whatever catches your eye. This can be quotes or pictures or stories or ideas - anything that inspires you and gets you thinking, or makes you curious as to why it tickles your mind.
3. Attach #2 to #1 with bits of #1 - just like in primary school! I've not made a collage in *years* and this is going to be fun!
4. Add notes and ideas into the collage for things that you've not been able to find pictures for, or can't yet articulate.
5. Review it all and see if it sums up "happiness" for you. If it doesn't, change it!
   
6. Title it, date it and sign it (my idea, not hers actually).
7. Work out how many moneybucks you need to live this kind of life. MMND suggests being specific rather than accurate - but also to write it down!
8. Hang your collage on the wall where you'll see it every day.
   

Interestingly, MMND goes on in later blog posts to look at how to identify and prioritise your values so that you can live according to them as a key to finding happiness. I know that when I am conflicted about something that I am doing, it is most often because it clashes with what I want to be doing - not just in a "I'd rather be doing anything other than studying" (oh look! I'm blogging instead!) way, but also in a deep down, do not want, do not agree with doing this kind of way.

Go and read and be inspired :).

Engagement party planning

Because it's my blog, because I'm in the home stretch of Nablopomo, and because the e party is next Saturday, here are some thoughts:

• I have a dress to wear. It is fabulous. I also have shoes to wear - I have to put some grip on the bottom of them still though!
  

• I'll deal with my hair next week - it may have faded a lot by then and need topping up but it may also be amazing still.

I need to organise a few things:

• food for me and Manfriend
• drinks for us as well
• rubbish bags
• card table
• things to sit on
  
• ice and ice boxes
• balloons so people can find us in the gardens
  
• eyebrow wax
• massage
• camera charged and ready to take photos
• napkins and plates (biodegradable)
• celebratory cupcakes (because I want them and my sister is an amazing pastry chef)
• Long Island Iced Tea (and a container to carry it in)
• ?music
  

Mix Master flashbacks

When I was little, my mother had a Mix Master. It had a particular smell to it - slightly sweet and a smidge oily and a lot of spice. She used it for cakes and bread and lots of other things and the sound of it is a lovely flashback to my childhood.

Anyway, I am now lusting after a Kitchen Aid.
To make bread. To make cakes. To make those desserts that I want to. It is TOTALLY a want, and I know that until maybe my 30th I'm not going to be able to justify such an indulgence, but I can still write about it, right? And label the post properly...

Flowers!

Summer doesn't really set in around here until late January, and in the meantime the flowers are gorgeous!













And proof that occassionally water does fall from the sky here:

Cube stools

So I am in need of some foot poofs and I was thinking of buying them because Ikea has such a firm hold over my thought processes when I think "house".

- As an aside, is anyone else curious as to how much Ikea is influencing Australia's way of seeing and celebrating Christmas? I love the orange and red decorations that are there but am still not moved to celebrate Christmas...

Anyway, in Ikea there are foot poofs that I like but are actually too large for the spot that I have on my loungeroom floor. So I was thinking like this:



as seen at Chez Larsson. I could get the timber cut at the House of Bun, I have a glue gun and a staple gun (and am not afraid to use them!) and I have a week or two to spare post exams so maybe I will...

10 things gone!

I challenge ye to get rid of:

1. ten pieces of clothing
2. ten books
3. ten craft supplies
4. ten useless pieces of paper
5. ten pieces of kitchen crap
6. ten cosmetic/grooming supplies and
7. ten things from your "study / basement / laundry / shed" or wherever things go to never be seen again
8. ten pairs of shoes or socks
9. ten toys
10. ten things out of your bathroom

I'll give you a month. I'll keep track on here as well. Take photos! Blog about it! Share it around!

Hair today, gone tomorrow

Before: , During: , After:

More photos are on Flickr oddly enough. It's a response to stress in part (exams, uni being horrible, work, injury, Centrelink... how much more can a girl handle?) but is also because I love love love having short hair. It's not that long ago that I had short hair that was also kind of blonde (it was more Tweety Bird than the lemon it is now though):


That was my 25th birthday, 3.5 years ago. I just threw the watch away as I'd worn the silver coating off it and it now left green marks on my arm. The necklace I still own and love to pieces. And the dress for that matter!

Names are such fascinating things!

I have friends in the USA, Canada, Europe, all states of Australia and in other places around the world. And I find it fascinating the names that are common in each spot. So here are 10 popular names in my circle of friends:

• Angela
  
• Emma
• Kate /Katie
• Rebecca
• Sarah

• Andrew
• Michael
• Alistair / Alasdair
• Nicholas
• Ian

And by popular I mean there are SO MANY people named these, the conversations go...

"So Andrew said",
"Wait - Andrew Mc, Andrew S, Andrew Sarah's Andrew, or the other Andrew?",
"Sarah's - J, not P"...

And names I want for my children:

• Persephone
• Taiven
• Indigo
• Saffron
• Dharia
• Grace
• Mathilde
• Paige
  

• Gaicimo
• Bexley
• Felix
• Xavier (why yes, I do seem to like my X names)
• Fabien
• Reuben
• Cade
• Bailey
• Finlay
  

I'd love to hear what other people can say, especially about the names that are common in their family or cirles!

Smoothie smoothie smoothie smoothie, wo oh oh oh oh oh...

Song lyrics to the some Ruby which I mashed up for that song title can be seen here.

A while ago I bought a cheap version of a Magic Bullet and I love it to pieces - I use it for so many things it was so worth the $30 it cost me at Spotlight. I've used it for:

• shreddding chocolate
• whipping cream
• making smoothies
• making dips
• chopping onions
  

Smoothie advice:

• Get some flavoured protein powder (vanilla is good as it means you get some sweetness and protein in it but it's not the One Flavour for every smoothie you make) so it fills you up more than just milk or water can;
• Chop fruit into bite sized pieces and freeze them. Rinse, pat dry and then freeze. You should use it up pretty quickly so don't worry about freezing it flat on something before packing away - it's pretty easy to chip apart! I freeze fruit (bits of strawberry that are sliced off other berries, frozen berries in general, orange, apple, banana) so that I have colds to go in the smoothie. This avoid using ice and increases my fruit content for the day.
• Experiment with milk - I've used soy as well as rice, cows, goats, UHT etc.
  
• Use ice to get an extra cold crunch. I'm going to try freezing coffee as well to see how that goes.

I would like to try some fruit / fruit juice ones too! But I'm not a big sweets person so I'm not in any rush for that.

Hair!

I once upon a time had very short hair (2005):



And then grew it out (2006-2008):




And now:


I'm tempted to do this:



Any thoughts?

Laundry list of I wants

A list of things I'd like to have in my life right now. From the ridiculous to the sublime...

• tai chi classes
• a Kitchen Aid
• bookshelves assembled and help with moving books around
  
• a power drill (14V cordless Makita Li ion)
• Year in a Bottle (recipe book)
• Leticia shoes in Jade
• Wii fit
• garden makeover
• a hefty person for the day to help me do a few things around the house
• hand knitted socks
• A session at Cream - anything involving a body polish to be specific
• A trip to Sydney where the Squeaks x3 are free for the weekend and we can drink a lot and bond and shop on King Street and eat yum cha
• A house cleaner
  
• A weekend away with Manfriend, with a spa
• My car washed
• a visit with my grandparents
  

Yes today I'm struggling with what to write. It's halfway through the month and I'm running out of things to talk about. The things I want to talk about, I'm not going to on ye olde public blog. The things I've wanted to talk about on here, I have so far.

Oh, wait! I have an issue! Well a couple actually - mostly a flat battery in my camera which means I can't get photos I took today off it to show you. Which means I'll have to describe it instead. In my post about my kitchen, I didn't show you the top of the cupboard, above the shelving, because it's currently a mess and a half. I need to do some work on it - I think it'd fit maybe 16 milk crates but of course this illegal (their collection, not their use in my house) so I can't do that. So I'm after some names for similar items with which to fill the space and use it up, allowing me to organise a mishmash of glassware, small whitegoods, emergency foods and so forth that is on top of the "pantry" at the moment.