Infrequent blogger is infrequent...

I am still alive and here. I'm on placement at the moment.

I have 3 weeks 7 days left of this placement.
Then 2 weeks more of placement, in about 6 weeks' time.
Then a week or so off, then another week of placement.

Then an exam.

Then a hand up of my portfolio.

And I'm done for this semester. Totally achievable.

And then next semester is 6 weeks of placement, 2 assignments and a portfolio hand up and it's done all together.

Then... what? Aiiiiieeeeeeee I don't know. So many options.

Graduate position - needs to be 0.8-fulltime which is 31-38 hours a week. I cringe to think of whether I can do that. Though the money would be good.
Maybe find a position somewhere at a lower load? Private hospital? Agency?
Take on 1 private client a month and see what happens there? Do it part time until Sally is a lot older?

Or the temptation is there to never ever practice midwifery and instead start up a business to sell gender-neutral baby and toddler clothes.
Or take up photography instead.
Or move to New Zealand.

It depends a bit on what happens when my court case resolves in a few weeks time. A friend mentioned the other day that she just had to help me through til May and I drew a blank of what I needed help with. After all, my exam isn't until July and my placements won't be over until late June... oh right, that court case.

Another huge unknown is what will happen with that. It's impossible to make plans without knowing whether it will resolve in my favour (highly likely), how big a settlement it'll be (no idea) and then what we can do with it. Can we buy a house? Do we buy a house? Where do buy a house? A fixer-upper? Something off the plan? Something that's rented and not move in?

Yeah. Lots of stress and unknown. I'm just trying to concentrate on one week at a time, one shift at a time. It's not easy but right now I have to concentrate on the path my feet are on, and ignore the maelstrom of eddies of fate and decisions that are out of my hands.