Sunday, April 18, 2010

Post project let down

It happens with weddings - post nuptial depression is a "real" illness, or at least a real situation that many brides find themselves in after the Big Day.

I have been thinking that in a lot of ways, there is something to be said for the postproject letdown that comes with getting to the end of a pregnancy, and getting through birth, and getting to the end of that first newborn phase. It's a time of changing definitions of myself, and of looking around and going "now what?". It's probably a lot of the reasons that there are challenges in redefining our marriage, living arrangements, personal space, image, routine, budget and so on.

How to address it? I'm not sure. I need to redefine myself and it's being done for me in a lot of ways which in itself is hard and really confronting. But in a relationship, a friend gave someone else the best bit of advice:

"Also, keep in mind there's always "post project" let down. You did this huge thing together and now you're sorta in maintenance (survival!) mode. Keep looking for the next "big project" you can do together. Stay focused on you and hub as the core of your family. It will be ok!"

So what other big project can we tackle together? So many things still have to happen - are still happening.

Cleaning out the garage that is rapidly becoming "a great Aussie shed";
Finalising my insurance claim - 3rd anniversary coming up soon;
Me finishing school;
TheHusband finishing his PhD;

and so on. But these aren't Big Projects. These are the day-to-day minutea that we all have to face. So dear readers - suggest me some Big Projects.

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