I am writing some of our thoughts about marriage and weddings and how we go to here out while it's still fresh in my mind. Just two months ago, I chose to become Mrs ManFriend and I'm lots of things about it still and at the moment. Excited, sure, but also trepidatious. I am the child of parents who divorced after a tumultuous married life. They divorced when I was 11, which is a LONG time ago now really.
My younger siblings don't remember my parents being married, which to me is weird. I don't remember them being happy, or being "together" as such, except for a few times when they went out to dinner. I can remember my dad putting on a dash of Old Spice aftershave and putting on his amazing dress uniform and going to work dinners, but that's about it. I remember going camping when I was fairly young (8 maybe?) and walking a lot with my dad, and of painting his trailer cage when I was maybe 9 or 10, and fishing with my grandparents, but I don't remember doing anything with my mother. I must have, at some stage, as I am a great cook now and can sew somewhat and can knit up a storm (all things I learnt from her) but I don't remember spending time with her when I was young. I remember her having her hair permed and me getting a migraine from it and the kind hairdresser massaging my head to ease the agony. I remember her doing things *for* me but not *with* me, ya know?
Anyways, I now have no relationship with my mother, and that had a big thing to do with us eloping. The discussion went like this:
- let's get married
- shall we have a wedding?
- where (I'm from Sydney and TheMan is Adelaidian)?
- who do we invite?
- do I have to invite my mother?
- how do I not invite her?
- glass of wine?
- what wine do we like?
- marlborough sauvignon blanc
- where's that made?
- let's elope there to get married
And that's about it. Nothing dramatic - just avoiding having my parents in the same room as each other (something they haven't willingly done in 18 years) and avoiding having to put up with her in my life.