Monday, December 7, 2009

Pregnancy and birth plan - what with 100 days to go!

In roughly 100 days I will have a baby, and I'll be a mother, and life will be different. I am enjoying this phase of pregnancy - I am round and gorgeous without being ungainly and uncomfortable, I am glowing without being exhausted all the time, and

So some plans for pregnancy and birthing:
  • I will have one or two midwives throughout my pregnancy, birth and postnatal period - I would love to work with a midwife that I know and have a recently started midwife in independent practice "apprentice" to her for my pregnancy
  • I will not have any screening tests as I know my blood group, and we do not want unnecessary ultrasounds
  • I will labour at home
  • I will birth at home
  • I will spend a lot of time in water
  • I will use hot water, massage, dance, noise, pressure, for pain relief
  • I will eat and drink as I labour, as I want
  • I will listen to music and have already had thoughts about music to listen to (suggestions welcome!)
  • I don't want people to talk to me - entertain yourselves!
  • I will have Osk there with me
  • He will catch the babe and announce the sex
  • I want to have the process videod
  • I will breastfeed
  • I will have a "lying in" for a month afterwards - a milky, cuddly babymoon
  • Osk will take paternity leave
  • We won't buy a pram but instead will use a sling and mei tai
  • We will co-sleep
  • We will not immunise immediately but will consider each
Yep a fairly definitive and bolshi list but hey - it's not a contact sport, it's not a spectator sport, and it's really important to me.


zang2424 said...

Wow!! 100 Days!! (Well give or take, you know babies and their minds of their own... Haha...) Doesn't seem as far away when you put it like that!!! Amazing!!

I have one question- When you say- "Osk will announce the sex" is that because you're not finding out, or just because quite often people seem to say "It's a boy/girl" when babies are born as tradition/ritual/whatevs??

The reason I ask is because the midwife said it when my sister was born, even though we already knew the gender, and it's been done at other peoples births who already knew gender wise also... Just curious! =) xoxo

Renee said...

I'd recommend having more music than you think you need, and a even few types you might think you don't want.

I had a relaxation CD I listened to almost every day for about 1/2 my pregnancy, and I fully expected to listen to it while I was laboring. The the big day came, I put my ear buds in, the noise started, and I promptly pulled the buds out of my ears and threw my iPod across the room. I just could NOT stand the noise all the sudden.

So have some back up plans. You might not really know what you want until it's started!

Emma Someone said...

Yep I know it's baby's idea of their birthday, not mine - but when you're asked a hundred times a day it's an easy thing to want to share.

We don't know the sex, and it's between him and me rather than the rest of the room, for us to discover.

It's traditional to announce the sex and the prediction is not always right so it is important to the family to confirm it and to the mw so she can document it - but I personally think that a birth is a woman's journey and has little to do with me, so why would I want to announce it?

And just a gentle reminder that you don't know what gender your baby sister is, or any baby. Sex yes - that is determined by genes, and usually signalled by obvious genitalia. But gender is a psychological and social construct that is plastic.

Emma Someone said...

Renee - thanks for the advice! I plan on having a long playlist of things I want to listen to but also a variety of podcasts and different genres.

I need to find me a relaxation CD to listen to - any suggestions?

zang2424 said...

Okay Emma I really really didn't mean for you to cause offence at anything I said-

Re: the babies have a mind of their own thing- obviously you know that- that was just a throw away line- didn't mean anything by it. Perhaps my tone wasn't conveyed in my writing.

My original question about announcing the sex was just one of curiosity- I wondered if you did know that was all- some people know and tell the world, some people know and keep it to themselves, and others choose not to find out- I just wondered which category you chose. No judgement- just curiousity. I wasn't aware that the sex announcement was to let the mw know as well, and did just wonder if it was simply a tradition or not. I also forgot at the time of commenting that sometimes the prediction can be wrong.

The gender/sex thing- I majored in anthropology for my B.A.- I am well aware that gender is seen by a lot of people as a social construct- I didn't intentionally choose to use the word gender over the word sex- I just used the word gender because it was the first word that came out of the keyboard as I was writing.

As for my response to your comment with regards to my sister/any baby's gender- Having studied gender identity as my major project for one of my anthropology subjects- I would just like to say that I have read articles on both sides of the scale and believe that gender identity is both a product of society and biologically determined. I don't think it is black and white.

There is the "gender is a psychological and social construct, gender is a product of society side" which does have a great deal of support and I do agree to an extent. Abrahams and Ahlbrand (2002) made a great case supporting this belief.

But there is also the "gender is biologically determined" argument- The main text I remember reading which supports this is Anne Moir and David Jessel's text "Brain Sex" (1992), but Andrew J. Weigert, J. Smith Teitge, and Dennis W. Teitge, "Society and Identity" (1986) also addresses this.

Anyways back to my original point- my first comment was not intended to cause offence or anything like that and I apologise if it did.

Emma Someone said...

No offence caused! I think I was writing that at 4am this morning after another night of insomnia so I probably wasn't as eloquent as I could be.

The announcing the sex thing - it's strange. Some mws are really keen to do it and others hang back. I'm certainly of the latter, even when I have seen what sex bub is before the mum and dad have.

zang2424 said...

Good good! Glad there was no offence!! I was worried I'd upset you! I think typing needs a tone button so you can convey that! =P Then there'd be a lot less internet misunderstanding!!

I do agree with you with the hanging back- I think if I'd chosen not to find out the sex of the child (though knowing me I'd probably get impatient/overly curious and end up finding out anyway), but yeah if I had specifically chosen not to find out I think I'd rather discover it myself or have my partner tell me once the child is born. It just seems to make it that bit more personal I think, and like your partner is going to be in your life forever (generally speaking, obviously not all relationships last but one hopes that they do) where as the mw (unless a friend or family member) is generally only part of your life for a short period of time... That's just my thoughts. =)

Sorry to hear you've been experiencing insomnia. I went through a period of it last year- it totally sucks. Hope you can work it out soon! *hugs*